Today it has really hit me that this job isn't a good thing for me. I've worked here for a little over a year and during that time have gained more weight than I did in all four years of college. All I do is sit down all day. No walking. No adrenaline having to scurry across campus to make it to a class on time. Just sitting. I'm losing my body. I'm losing my eye-sight looking at the computer. I'm kind of losing my mind.
It's good to pay the bills and to save money. But I kind of want an adventure. I realized there are so many things that I want to do, but the days just seem too short. I don't know if this is a good mind-set or not, but right now I just kind of feel like...a steady job doesn't necessarily matter. Crazy I know. How can I say something like that in this economy? Again...not sure if that is a good mind-set or not. But really...I was just looking at tons of jobs on KSL-all 900+ of them within a 25 mile radius.
I had a job opportunity at the beginning of last summer. I got a bank job. I was going to be a bank teller. Nothing against them or anything...but I don't really want to be a bank teller. So I stayed in my current job. I don't really want to be a receptionist either, but that's what I am right now. I feel like because that's what I'm doing right now, that that is what I am. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE. THAT ISN'T ME! So...I looked a tons of jobs. I had decided after I turned down I told myself that I would stay in this job until I had kids or if kids didn't come for a while, I would stay here unless I found a job that was something I would really want to do.
After looking through all 900+ postings I realize...there are tons of things I don't want to do. But there are also lots of things I do want to do. Although only 5 (I think that's still a pretty good number) of jobs jumped at me enough for me to write them down I realized...I have so much I want to do. I vented to my mom today about how I just don't have time to do anything. She told me "You just have to MAKE time." That basically means...less sleep, more multitasking/time management, and more doing! And that's what I need to do. So...here is just a huge list of things that interest me. That I would love to learn about or try out for a little while. I still haven't found "it". The one job that I would love to do for forever. That would ultimately make me happy and not dread going to work. But here are some things I would like to do...
1.Work with the Elderly: Just hang out, play, help, talk whatever with old people. They can truly be so great sometimes...and then so funny when they're crotchety sometimes. Just something I would like to do ocassionally.
2. Work with animals. For Christmas I got a kindle fire from my parents. It's awesome! One of my favorite things that I've done with it so far though is this stupidly addicting app called Zoo Club. I love it. The other night I worried that my elephant was dirty before I went to bed. These animals are all fake. Completely not real. But I worried. I've cut back on my Zoo Club time. It interferred with my time with Tim. In that I didn't talk to him as much while I was playing the game (don't worry...it was only for like 1 or 2 days before my senses came to me). Through this though, I realized that I really love animals. When I was younger I wanted to be a vet except that I didn't want to put any animals down. I'm not very inclined towards the medical field, but I do love animals. So maybe I should work in a zoo. That would be another dream of mine to do. Maybe not permanently...but sometime.
3. I miss the pool. I used to live around the pool growing up. I was a lifeguard for forever. Now that I've been away from it-only for a year-my heart aches to miss the water. I know that teaching swimming lessons would get old pretty fast sometimes, but I miss it. I miss swimming lessons-I miss SWIMMING! Oh if only it was affordable to own a lap pool in my backyard. If only pools grew on trees. I miss the water. So...somehow...I want to always be around a pool. I need to get involved in that somehow.
4. I want to learn to play the piano. And the guitar. I have a keyboard at the house and Tim gave me a piano lesson the other day for FHE but I really have no idea what I'm doing. I would love to play the piano though. I have a guitar back home in Oregon. If I have these instruments I should learn how to play them!
5. I want to practice singing. I never took formal voice lessons but I was always in choirs growing up. I haven't sang classical music in 6 years (apart from the rad Christmas choir Tim and I participated in this winter and a voice class I took in college). I need to bust out some old music, some old CDs and just set time apart to do vocal exercises and really sing!
6. I want to paint!
7. Ride Bikes and do Triathlons
8. Work with children
9. Have energy
10. Read more books
11. See the sun!
12. Scrap book
13. Blog more
14. Learn about software/computers/graphic design
15. Speak and study Spanish more
16. Travel
Basically...this is just an incredibly rambly post to help me vent, but ultimately I realize that there are SO many things that I want to do and that I'm interested in. I don't know how to do them yet. But I want to figure it out. I get too stressed out by things that don't matter. I get too worried about what people will think when they don't matter. I worry too much. Maybe a
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